Chapter 1 (cont.) 

New Knowledge: 
Learning to TRUST Your Intuition

Betrayal, Trust, and Forgiveness: A guide to emotional healing and Self-renewal


New knowledge is marked by gaining insight into a spiritual teaching that helps the initiate understand what they have been through and why they had to go through it the way they did. It teaches them that there is meaning or purpose to the initiatory ordeals. Whether we are betrayed on purpose or by accident, each betrayal experience initiates the movement from the loss of a dream, through the five stages of mourning, to giving birth to the truth. Trust is the act of faith that inspires us to live in truth. When we get past the pain of betrayal, we learn to risk in spite of opposition, counterinfluences, or discouragement. In other words, we learn to trust. 

Trust grows from listening to a deeper truth within—a message from the soul of one’s being. As James Hillman said, “It may well be that betrayal has no other positive outcome but forgiveness, and that the experience of forgiveness is possible only if one has been betrayed. Such forgiveness is a forgiving which is not a forgetting, but the remembrance of wrong transformed within a wider context.”6 Remember your betrayal experience with the eyes of your soul. Though the uninitiated self, with its conditions, expectations, and demands, is lost, an infinite creative Source emerges within the psyche as the inner guide and teacher. The acronym TRUST can guide today’s seeker beyond death’s door into the fourth stage of initiation-the reception of new knowledge that gives value and meaning to the initiatory ordeals. This is the wider context that transforms betrayal into forgiveness.
TRUST: The Teaching of New Knowledge

T - Turn Inward for Truth
Turn inward to discover your deepest truth. 

To thine own Self be true.

R - Relax, Release, Receive
Relax your body and mind and release fear, then receive intuitive guidance.
U - Use Intuition to Understand
Use the tools you have, both inner and outer resources to gain greater awareness.
S - Speak, Share, Stand Up
Speak the truth. Share your dreams. Take a stand.
T - Try Again and TRUST
Trust the process that continues to return to your Source within.

We learn to trust not in our betrayers, but in the truth of the Self. This creative, inner Self guides us and protects us. The Self inspires us to make meaning out of life and directs us to align with a deeper purpose in all our relationships, including our relationships with our betrayers.

I find it fascinating that the words trust and truth come from the same root word. In fact, the words trust, true, truce, troth, and betroth are all related etymologically to the Old English word treow.7 Treow stands for the concepts of fidelity, faith, and loyalty. Fidelity, faith, and loyalty to the Self is the sacred vow of the initiate. Truth is the sacred troth between the higher Self and your ordinary evolving self. As we betroth our truth, the bond of trust grows into an experience of personal integrity. Truth brings a truce to our painful inner battles and emotional struggles and eases our external conflicts with others.

The word treow literally means “tree.” I like to think of betrayal as the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. We’ve spent centuries digesting our ancestral bite from the apple. Trust is fruit from the Tree of Life. It is time for us to take the next bite. Use the image of a tree in your meditations as a template for developing Self-trust. Imagine that your roots penetrate deep into the dark, rich ground of being, while your branches stretch upward and reach toward the sun, the light of consciousness. The deeper your roots, the more stable your growth. You weather the seasons-scorching hot sun, bitter winds of change, stormy rains, cold winters-with an innate trust in spring, the season when life within you sprouts afresh and new. Observe how you blossom and bloom. Notice how the branches of your knowledge grow full with the fruits of experience. Each fruit is harvested and shared and brings nourishment to yourself and others. Within the fruit of your experience is a seed of truth ready to be planted and harvested in its own cycle and season.

Aristotle says that intuitive reason allows us to know truth without the need for proof, as is required by scientific reason. We can trust our intuition to guide us to truth. As Karen demonstrated earlier, we have the ability to know truth for ourselves, from our inner Source, and when we surrender to the truth, it brings a truce to the mind at war with itself. Each time we turn inward and contact our inner Source, trust builds. We are renewed by being reborn into Self-awareness. 

Intuitively, we each know what we need in order to grow, heal, and flourish. The Source within the psyche, which intuitively knows what we need and completely accepts the truth of those needs, is a reflection of the omniscience and unconditional love associated with the archetype of Divine Mother. We are nurtured by contact with the Mother of our soul. Like an infant suckling at the mother’s breast, we draw our nourishment from the Source of truth within. Intuition also provides protective guidance from the Source of healing within the psyche. Protective guidance and direction are expressions of an omnipotent force in consciousness, the archetype of the Divine Father. Inner direction empowers us and prompts us to act on our truth in order to get our needs fulfilled. Direction and guidance come in the form of inner hunches as well as outer synchronicities. In time, we remember the sacred troth-we are not alone. We have inner resources, archetypal divine parents, to support us and guide us to outer resources that fulfill our needs.

Like Joe and Karen, many of my clients suffered from childhood wounds and earlier betrayals. In our sessions, I assist them in making intuitive contact with infinite inner resources like the archetypes of Divine Mother or Divine Father. This helps them to receive the love, nurturing, protection, or guidance they never received as children in their earlier relationships with their physical parents. Intuitively, with the help of this greater intelligence, they see that their betraying parent, lover, friend, or coworker acted out of unresolved pain, fear, or hurt, and as in the Frog Prince tale, the betrayer and the betrayal itself are instrumental in initiating soul growth and character development for the betrayed. The meaning ascribed to the betraying incident is very personal, though the betrayal is not. Our family and friends are bound to betray us just by the fact that they are human, not God.

Through contact with our Divine Parents within the psyche, we mature. In time, we grow beyond the divine parent-child relationship. Self-nurturance and self-direction become expressions of the Self. The Self is the archetypal representation of one’s wholeness, a wholeness that we usually seek in or project onto our relationship with our spouse, lover, or partner. For example, colloquial expressions like “my significant other” or “my other half” allude to this projection of the Self onto one’s partner or lover. As one matures, instead of looking for divine perfection in one’s human companion, one seeks union with one’s perfectly divine inner Self. Returning to our Beloved within, making love with the One who loves us so well, we are betrothed to our true companion. Our soul-mate relationship is really a union between the higher Self and the evolving self within the psyche. Higher Self is the one who will never abandon us, the one with whom we are truly One. The sacred marriage that the alchemists call the hierogamos is an inner marriage instead of an external affair.

The sacred troth is a vow to have faith in the process of life, which continually guides our return to our inner Source. All life’s teachings allow us to renew our sacred marriage vows to the higher Self. Personal betrayal wounds of infidelity and jealousy frequently indicate a misplaced alliance projected onto one’s lover, spouse, or partner-giving them godlike status. These false idols crash off their pedestals, and in the dust, we come to know the One within the psyche, in whom we can truly trust. 

I love the fact that the word intuition comes from a Latin root word tueri, which literally means “to observe, guard, or protect.”8 Through self-observation, we come to know what we truly need. Intuition, not our psychological defenses, provides all the protection we require. Our intuitive resources guard us as we are guided to discover a deeper, more personally meaningful truth contained within our painful betrayal experiences. Hidden from the ordinary, rationalizing mind, which is caught in the traditional explanations of why the past causes one to be the way one is, nonrational intuitive resources extend beyond the limits of historical time and place to reveal that one is already whole. Returning to the metaphor that faithful Henry provides, the truth breaks the constricting bands of our psychological defenses and sets us free to trust and be true to our inner Self.

Truth is never punishing, shaming, or blaming. Punishment, as a construct for life, dies along with other fears, which block us from the truth. Punishment, whether self-punishment or the vindictive punishment of others, signals that we are caught in fear. Once we have quelled the punishing and judging mind, the silent voice of our impartial, observing Self can be heard. There is a difference between the judging, rational-irrational mind, which is full of beliefs and biases, and the nonrational mind, which intuitively knows truth without proof. To show you how you might distinguish between them, I’d like to tell you the tale of the Aged Mother.9

This story opens with the Aged Mother returning from the graveyard after attending the funeral of her last living friend. The Aged Mother is tired and weary as she rekindles the hearth fire in her empty cottage. Alone in the darkness, the Aged Mother sits before the crackling flames of the fire, musing on the life she has lived. Images and memories of her husband, two sons, friends, and family dance in the flames. One by one they all have died. Of all her losses, the death of her children is the hardest to bear. In her grief, she rages against God, blaming the Almighty for taking her sons from her when they were still children. Now there is no one to keep her company in her old age. She is all alone.

Soon she hears the church bells chiming. Thinking that she dozed through the night, the Aged Mother hurries off to the church. But when she gets there, a ghostly light filters out through the church windows. The Aged Mother opens the door, and she notices that every pew is filled. Rising from the Aged Mother’s usual seat, a deceased aunt comes to greet her. All at once, the Aged Mother realizes that the hall is filled with all her dead relatives and friends long gone. “Look up, upon the altar,” her aunt says to her, “and there you will find your sons.”

The Aged Mother looks up and sees two strapping young men, one hung to death on the gallows and the other tortured upon the wheel. The Aged Mother falls to her knees and prays, giving thanks to God that her dear children did not live long enough to meet such cruel fates. Trembling and shaking, the Aged Mother makes her way home, grateful that God has dealt so kindly with both her and her sons. Three days later, the Aged Mother dies and rests in peace.

The lesson in this story suggests that to heal betrayal, we must move beyond the rational-irrational mind, which gives us easy answers based on our historical thoughts and feelings, unresolved security needs, low self esteem, and other unhealed wounds of the past. The Aged Mother’s righteous resentment about being alone in her old age pales against the wisdom, mercy, and power of a greater truth. The Aged Mother’s clairvoyant visions, contact with spirit guides, and communication with her spiritual understanding. Regardless of the form of introspection, one gains a new
perspective on the past by reviewing one’s experience in the clear light of intuition.

Moving from betrayal to trust is an advanced initiation. The spiritual teaching is supplied primarily by one’s inner teacher during the new knowledge phase of initiation. The questions one asks oneself guide one’s quest. Let your questions lead you to understand the greatest good contained in your betrayal experience. The message you receive from intuitive resources may contain a blend of personal elements, or collective, archetypal, and mythic elements. Intuitive truths are typically symbolic, instead of literal. Intuitive symbolic processes and your personal quest for meaning, value, or purpose guide your passage through betrayal to trust. A quest for meaning-to understand your soul purpose, teaching, or lesson often provides new awareness, a truth that sets you free.

Use your intuition to awaken and acknowledge your inner teacher. Identify an intuitive tool or method to help you create contact with the Self. Commune with your inner Source of wisdom and healing. There are many ways to create contact. Watch your dreams and keep a dream journal. Notice synchronicities. Use augury: tarot, runes, I Ching, astrology, numerology, and channeling. Use meditation, creative visualization, guided imagery, affirmations, prayer, ritual, chanting, dancing, creative arts, creative writing, or journal keeping. Sometimes friends, support group meetings, teachers, or inspirational writings like poetry and other creative works echo the whispering voice of our inner teacher. Regardless of the form, the truth reveals a new perspective on the betrayal, one broad enough to encompass the paradox of feeling betrayed and feeling acceptance simultaneously.


Read more ...

Excerpt 1 2 3 5

The Book | Dr. Beth  | Services | Calendar
Q and A | Healing Links | Media Kit
All materials copyright©2002, Dr. Beth Hedva
All rights reserved. 
For permissions